Alright, here is an example of an apology email/ My space post that I had to send after a few too many drinks on a Lady's Night! You see the thing about Lady's Night is, they are always during the week, which means us "working" ladies have the best intentions of 2 drinks and a good night sleep, so we used to start these affairs around 9pm, with the intention of going home around 11pm. Problem is the spot we used to frequent offered 50% all night for ladies- any drink! Being college educated, bright young women, we knew our bills are usually around $40 on a regular night out, however with this "deal" (more like deal from the devil) we could and did consume $80 worth of alcohol and still only spend the usualy $40...
Hence my apology:
"I had to post this on a Thursday Morning after a Wednesday Lady's Night. If I could buy a breathalyzer for my phone, so that I would NOT be able to use it after 2 drinks- I WOULD!!!!!!
Hello Everyone- Just wanted to apologize for attempting to wake you up last night with my calls and millions of texts....Last night was Wednesday- and you know what that means: Lady's Night, but I was under the impression all the alcohol in Sarasota would no long be available so I needed to drink it ALL last night!
Just to clear a few things up:
1. NO- I am not moving to Italy to be a fashion consultant for the Pope (I'm not even Catholic)
2. NO- I am not working at the Cheetah (a strip club) on Tuesday nights to pay for my Masters Degree
3. NO- I did not design a corset for Victoria Secret, and NO- I will not be debuting it in their upcoming runway show (sorry to disappoint)
4. NO- I did not adopt a Koala and name him Sally
5. NO- I am not trying out for America's Next Top Model
6. NO- I am not writing a column in Maxim Magazine- regardless of my Wiener test...
7. NO- I was NOT outside your window, if so, I'm quicker than Santa because most of you live out of state....however:
8. YES, I did play the claw game at the bar last night and I WON an elephant for Penelope after only 3 tries...and YES that is one of my better accomplishments in life!
SO- please forgive me, I hope I didn't wake anyone up, luckily I passed out at 1:30am, and fortunately calls after 9pm are free or I may actually have to work at the Cheetah to pay my phone bill!!!!!
Love you all- Lori"
Since my friends and I realized going out at 9pm was a bad idea because we'd often close the bar down around 2pm (again, this is on a Wednesday night). We geniuses, decide that we will move Lady's Night to 7pm and only stay til 9pm, so we'll drink less and be home EARLY! This was an utter disaster, and remained the same disaster for a few months! All this bright idea accomplished was two more hours of drinking, Lady's Night then went from 7pm to 2am!- Brilliant ladies...
Finally, with the brains of 6 smart, educated women, with a total of $350,000 + of college education and thus forming one very strong super brain- we decided we can not manipulate time, but we can include food into the evening! Brilliant! I have not had to send mass apologies since!
Thank god for Bread!
xoxo
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